Trying Is Lying
Have I ever mentioned my distaste for the words try or trying? To me the word try means that the person speaking never intends on keeping their promises, and therefore they are flat out lying about whatever matter they were promising to “try” and do. I have previously heard the saying: “Trying is the first step towards failure”, which I believe to be true.
There is a distinct difference between trying to do something, and actually doing it. I believe that when one promises to “try” and do something, they mentally set themselves free from any promised obligations created by the lie. Yes, it is a lie; it is a lie to oneself, and to the other people involved. When you are saying you will “try” and do something, you are creating a backdoor for escape, for incase you are unable to deliver the promises you created. It gives you a get out of jail card, freeing yourself from really doing what you promised to do. You may make an effort to bullshit, yourself and others with halfhearted attempts to deliver what you promised, but in the back of your mind, you are already opening the quick escape door you created when promised to “try”.
This brings me to honesty, honesty in your day-to-day dealings with other people, and of course being honest with yourself. I will try to stop smoking; I will try to have the file ready by closing time… Sound familiar? We all make promises to others, and ourselves, but the intent to really keep to it, becomes blurred by little escape clause we conveniently inserted into the promise. The problem with the whole thing is that it will keep you from doing better, from improving things in your personal or business life. Every time that there might be some demanding situation, you promise to “try” and resolve it, you are keeping yourself from gaining positive momentum and succeeding in whatever you wanted to “try”. It creates a vicious downward cycle, making it extremely difficult to attain any goals. And how could you attain those goals if you already excused yourself from keeping to them?
If you want to start making improvements in both your personal and business life, you are going to have to start being honest with yourself and others. Stop making promises you can’t keep to, rather reach a compromise with those involved, than talking yourself into doing something you know you won’t be able to keep to. If you think about it, the only times we ever say that we will “try” to do something, is when the problem seems too big to handle in the amount of time given, creating the need to insert some sort of escape clause for when we are unable to deliver. It really becomes a problem when you look at it from purely a business type aspect, broken promises means broken contracts, which means losing customers. The fact that someone “tried” to keep their promise, is a very small compensation for a business owner who is counting on them to deliver. When you promise to “try” and deliver, you are removing the assurance of delivery by inserting an escape clause, which is not honest and doesn’t make for good business dealings.
So next time you feel like promising someone to “try” and do something, remember that building lasting relationships starts with honesty and trust. Don’t be like everyone else who is “trying”, but never actually get anything done. Stop “trying” and simply just start doing.
By Chris Haddad, January 13, 2010 @ 11:48 am
I actually wrote an article a few weeks ago about what a “weasel word” “Try” is . . .
How when you say you’re going to “try” something (like “TRY” to lose weight, you’re actually setting failure as the expectation.)
Been thinking about “Can’t” and “Won’t” lately. How much better would the world be if instead of people saying “I can’t do that” they would just say “I won’t do that” and take some fucking responsibility.
“Try” article is at
http://www.moneyfingersinc.com/yoda-was-one-smart-marketing-mofo-do-or-do-not-there-is-no-try/
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