Shhhhh your Advice is Hurting my Ears !
Have you ever been on the wrong side of “good advice”, if you have then you will know exactly what I’m talking about. In general, people always want to help and often it ends up hurting more than helping while and giving us an ear full of their “good advice”. People learn best when they solve their own problems. As they say… Its not the kill.. it’s the thrill of the chase and learning is best done banging your own head against that wall.
Giving advice can be a very touchy subject; you need to take the person on the receiving side into consideration. You have heard the saying, walking a mile in another person’s shoes; well before giving any advice you should take a moment and walk a mile in that person’s shoes. Always remember, listen first, and only then talk if you have something useful to say. One more time.. since you missed it the first time.. LISTEN.. and once more.. LISTEN… For once, hold that run-away tongue of yours, and get to the center of the issue first, that is if there should be a problem. Take into consideration the outcome of the advice you are so ready to hand out. Is it really in the best interest of that person, or is it what YOU and your our selfish greedy sub-conscience consider the best for that person?
As a rule, I try to avoid giving advice. My experience on the matter is that people close up like clams whenever an information vomit is about to happen. Yeah, I call it information vomit because it is one of the most foul and unwanted things that could come out of one’s mouth. Instead, try to empower others to think for themselves, work out solutions to their own problems, offer my support. Avoid blurting out any unwanted advice. If you find yourself in the situation where someone needs your help, point them in the right direction, give them support, and perspective.
It is human to want to share our experiences but, the best friends I have are super human and resist this urge. My best friends provide solutions rather than advice. Sometimes the best thing to hear is a story about what they did to solve a similar issue. I’ll get the solutions I need out of that story. Solutions offer some room for play, but advice is nothing but information vomit. ACK!
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